Foster Parent Well

Transforming Parenthood Through Holistic Wellness

• Nicole T Barlow • Season 2 • Episode 25

Share episode

Send us a text

What if the key to thriving as a foster or adoptive parent lies in how you care for yourself? Join me, Nicole T Barlow, as we shift the focus to self-care and wellness, an often overlooked yet crucial component of trauma-informed parenting. In our latest episode of Foster Parent Well, we explore how nurturing your body and spirit can empower you to better navigate the unique challenges of parenting. Learn about the nourishing benefits of a gentle 12-12 intermittent fasting schedule, and why regular meals throughout the day can fortify your nervous system against the chaos of survival mode. Discover how simple activities like walking can transform both your stress levels and your spiritual wellbeing, offering a moment of tranquility and reflection amidst the hustle of daily life.

But wellness isn't just about the physical—it's about becoming the parent you were called to be. Together, we can illuminate the dark corners of our communities with hope and love, standing ready for the work we are destined to do. If you're ready to embrace a journey of holistic growth, visit NicoleTBarlow.com or connect with me on Instagram for more inspiration and support.

6 Week Coaching Group: https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=nicolebarlow

FREE Anti-Diet Guide: https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/guides/free-anti-diet-guide#nicolebarlow 

Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Foster Parent Well podcast, where we have real, candid, faith-filled conversations about all things foster care, adoption and trauma. I'm your host, nicole T Barlow. I'm a certified parent trainer, a certified health coach and an adoptive parent myself. This is a space where you can find support so that you can care for your kids with a steadfast faith, endurance and joy. I want you to, Nicole T Barlow. I'm so glad that you're joining me today because we're diving into one of the most essential yet often overlooked topics for foster and adoptive parents.

Speaker 1:

We're talking about self-care and wellness. We hear about it all the time. Right, take care of yourself. But what does that actually look like when you're managing trauma-informed parenting appointments, meltdowns and trying to maintain some sense of order in your daily life? The truth is, as a foster and adoptive parent, we're in a battle every single day emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically and, like any good soldier, we need to be equipped. You wouldn't send a soldier into war without any armor, and the same goes for us. Today, we're going to be talking about equipping ourselves physically and spiritually for the fight that we're in. This includes understanding some things about intermittent fasting and doing it in a way that works for our bodies instead of against it. We're going to talk about how to support your nervous system with regular meals and why we should be ditching long-form cardio for some forms of gentler movement. And we'll also talk about prayer why prayer time in the Word and leaning into God are essential as you navigate the daily battles of foster and adoptive parenting.

Speaker 1:

So why is it so hard to prioritize our wellness parenting? So why is it so hard to prioritize our wellness? Before we get into the how, I really want to talk about the why. Why do we have such a hard time with this, with self-care and wellness practices? I think part of it is that we, as caregivers, are wired to give. We're constantly meeting the needs of others, whether that's our kids, our families or our communities, and that often means we're putting ourselves last. But the truth is, you can't pour from an empty cup. If we're constantly running on empty, we can't give our best to our kids. So we all understand the concept of dying to self and taking up our cross, but sometimes that looks like not choosing something that we want to do, but choosing something that we should do, like taking care of ourselves. It doesn't mean neglecting ourselves. It just means we aren't always choosing what we want. We're laying down our wants and our desires for what we should do. The stress that we're under as trauma-informed parents has a real physical impact. That emotional weight wears us down and it can leave us exhausted, drained and more susceptible to burnout. That's why we need to approach self-care not as a luxury but as a necessity, because our bodies and our minds need to be supported if we're going to show up for our families day after day and show up to do the hard things day after day.

Speaker 1:

One tool that I love to introduce to my wellness clients is intermittent fasting, but I want to be clear. It's not about depriving yourself or jumping straight into a 16-hour fast. We want to start gently. I recommend beginning with a 12-12 fasting schedule where you eat within a 12-hour window and fast for the remaining 12 hours and, let's be honest, the majority of that is overnight. For me, that really means I'm just cutting out my late night snack and it's giving my body a chance to rest. It's a great way to let your digestive system rest without pushing your body too hard too quickly, because intermittent fasting can be a stress on your body, the key during that 12-hour eating window. So the 12 hours where you're eating is to eat every two to three hours. This is so important because eating regularly helps support your nervous system.

Speaker 1:

As a foster and adoptive parent, you know how critical that is for your kids. Keeping regular meals helps them feel secure, regulates their emotions and prevents them from going into a fight or flight mode. But here's the thing we need to apply those same principles to ourselves. When we skip meals or we go too long without eating, our bodies respond by going into survival mode, and that triggers stress responses that we don't need. Right. We need to be able to be at our best. We don't need to be triggered by the fact that we haven't eaten recently. So we need to stay on top of that and make sure that we're eating at regular intervals. That will help us nourish our bodies. So we're not just fueling ourselves physically, we're helping our nervous system stay balanced, which ultimately helps us be more present, patient and resilient as parents.

Speaker 1:

Now let's talk about exercise. There's a common belief that in order to stay fit, we need to engage in long, intense cardio sessions. You know the hours of running, that kind of thing, but here's the reality. When you're already dealing with high levels of stress. Intense cardio can actually do more harm than good. Long form cardio, like running for miles or spending hours on a treadmill, spikes your cortisol levels, the very hormone that tells your body to hold on to fat and to keep you in a constant state of stress. Some stress for our bodies is good, but because our bodies are already at a higher level of stress than most, we need to be cognizant of that and not push our bodies beyond what they can handle.

Speaker 1:

What I encourage my clients to do instead is embrace gentler forms of movement, like walking. My clients to do instead is embrace generaler forms of movement, like walking. Walking is one of the most underrated forms of exercise, but it's so effective. It helps lower cortisol, it supports joint health and it can be easily incorporated into your daily routine. Plus, walking outdoors can be a great time to reflect, pray and just breathe. It's good for your body and for your mind. And I'll tell you, I know where I live. Right now the weather is perfect to get outside and really spend some time outdoors in nature, taking in fresh air and just spending some time with God in the quiet, to be able to do those walks and I do like to walk by myself when possible, but sometimes I have to take my kids with me. The good thing is that's an exercise where I can take my kids. If I had younger kids, I could push them in a stroller, or my kids are old enough that they walk with me and they enjoy it too. Strength training is another fantastic option, even if you only have for 15 to 30 minutes a day.

Speaker 1:

Building muscle increases your metabolism and it makes you physically stronger. And for parents, that's especially important because, let's face it, parenting can feel like a full body workout some days, and it really is the stress that we're putting our bodies under as we walk this journey in the foster care system right, the ups and downs, the emotional ups and downs of cases and all the things that we're navigating in our world is a physical stress on our body. It is a full body workout in its own, so we need to be strong. Focusing on strength and gentle movement can help keep your body in balance and reduce stress in a way that's sustainable. Now let's talk about nutrition, because what we feed our bodies is just as important as how we move them. As foster and adoptive parents, we're often dealing with extreme levels of emotional and physical stress, and that stress takes a toll on our body. That's why it's essential to think of food as fuel. Food is not the enemy. We need food to fuel our body.

Speaker 1:

Well, there's a beautiful example of this in the Bible in the story of Elijah. After Elijah had faced off with the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 19, he was physically and emotionally exhausted. Do you ever feel like that? He was afraid, depressed and completely depleted. What did God do? He didn't tell Elijah to get over it or to power through it. Instead, god sent an angel to provide Elijah with food, water and rest. Only after Elijah had been nourished and restored did God speak to him and send him on his next assignment.

Speaker 1:

That time of nourishment and restoration is so important. This is a powerful reminder that when we're doing hard things, like parenting kids with trauma, we must take care of ourselves. That means nourishing our bodies with real, whole foods, not reaching for quick fixes or falling into the trap of crash diets. Y'all. Crash diets are the worst thing for your system because they send your system into a state of fight or flight. It sends your system into a state of survival because it's not getting the nourishment that it needs. Our bodies need protein, they need healthy fats, they need carbs and they need nutrient-dense foods. To recover from the stress that we're under and to be strong for the journey ahead, we need to be supporting our hormones and supporting our systems through the stress that we're facing every day. When we start fueling our bodies like this, we feel stronger, we're more energized and we're better able to handle the demands of our day.

Speaker 1:

It's not just about hitting a wellness goal. It's about being equipped to do the hard, beautiful work that God has called us to. So keep that in mind. Ultimately, the goal is to be able to do and fulfill our calling really well, and the way that we're going to do that is to be able to train our bodies and nourish our bodies much like an athlete. An athlete is not going to skip meals. They're not going to do crash diets, because they understand that they need that nourishment in order to fulfill the task that they've been called to. The same is true for us.

Speaker 1:

And that brings me to spiritual training, because, friends, we are not just battling physically. We are in a spiritual battle every single day. As foster and adoptive parents, we're fighting against the darkness that surrounds us. That may be loneliness, depression, anxiety or the cycles of addiction and trauma that so often impact our children. We're standing in the gap for our kids, and that means we need to equip ourselves spiritually just as much as we do physically. In Ephesians 6, we're told to put on the full armor of God, and that's exactly what we need to do. We need to train our spirit through prayer, time in the Word and leaning into God for strength. The emotional and spiritual weight that we carry as trauma-informed parents is not something that we can handle on our own, but with God's strength we can stand firm, we can fight for our kids and we can push back against the darkness. Prayer is where we find our peace. This time in the Word gives us wisdom and direction, and leaning into God's strength can help us keep going when we feel like nothing is left. This spiritual training is just as essential as anything we do for our physical bodies, because it keeps us grounded, it keeps us connected and it keeps us focused on the bigger picture.

Speaker 1:

When I coach my wellness clients, it's not just about fitness and weight loss. It's about equipping them mind, body and spirit to be able to show up fully for their families, and what I've seen time and time again is that when parents start supporting their bodies with proper nutrition, gentle movement and spiritual training, everything in their household shifts. They have more energy, more patience and more emotional resilience to be able to handle the challenges that come with parenting kids from hard places. Taking a holistic approach that acknowledges the weight of what we're carrying as trauma-informed parents is essential, and it equips us to handle everything with strength and grace. You guys, we can't do things like everybody else does them. Our bodies are under a higher level of stress and trauma that a lot of people don't necessarily face, and so we have to take that into consideration when we are caring for our bodies.

Speaker 1:

If this resonates with you and you are ready to make some real changes, I want to invite you to my next six-week coaching group. This group is specifically for parents with children who have a history of trauma. The group starts on October 28th and over the course of six weeks, I'll walk you through some strategies to support your body physically, emotionally and spiritually so that you can navigate the hard things with more strength and resilience. We'll work up to intermittent fasting, but in a way that supports your body and your nervous system. We'll focus on nourishing your body with real food. We'll be moving in ways that build strength without burning you out, and we'll lean into God's strength for the journey.

Speaker 1:

This isn't just about wellness goals, you guys. It's about equipping you to be the parent that God has called you to be, even in the hardest moments. Spots are limited for this group, so if this sounds like something you need, head to my website at NicoleTBarlowcom or connect with me on Instagram at NicoleTBarlow for more details. I will also put a link in the show notes with more details. I can't wait to walk this journey with you and to see the transformation that happens when you invest in yourself. Until next time, remember that you are doing incredible work. Take care of yourself because you are so worth it.

Speaker 1:

As we wrap up, let me pray for us. Heavenly Father, thank you so much for this gift of a body that you have given us. Help us to care for it and to steward it well. Lord, thank you for calling us to do hard things, to join you in your work. Lord, help us to share hope and love in communities and in families around the world. Lord, help us to be a light in dark places and help us to train ourselves spiritually and physically for the work that we've been called to do. Lord, we love you. We trust you In Jesus' name, amen.