Foster Parent Well
Foster Parent Well is the go-to podcast for foster and adoptive parents who are navigating the complexities of parenting children with trauma while trying to stay sane in the process. Hosted by Nicole T Barlow, a foster and adoptive mom of six, parent trainer, and wellness coach, this podcast is where faith, resilience, and practical strategies come together.
If you're feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted from the daily realities of foster care and adoption—you're not alone. Here, we have real conversations about the hard stuff: attachment struggles, secondary trauma, parenting beyond behaviors, and the deep emotional weight of loving kids from hard places. But we also talk about you—your health, your nervous system, your faith, and the small, sustainable ways you can care for yourself so you can keep showing up for your kids.
Expect practical tips, faith-based encouragement, expert insights, and zero sugarcoating—just real, honest talk about what it takes to foster well, adopt well, and most importantly, stay well in the process.
Because parenting kids with trauma is a marathon, not a sprint—and you were never meant to run it alone.
🎧 Subscribe now and let’s do this together!
Foster Parent Well
Faith in the Trenches
God shows up in extraordinary ways for foster parents when we embrace the truth that we're participating in His holy work of restoration and redemption.
• His grace is sufficient for our weakness, covering our doubts, fears, and mistakes
• New mercies arrive each morning—only when we need them, not a moment sooner
• Hard things are exactly what Jesus calls us to, equipped with His strength and comfort
• We are not invisible—God sees every midnight cry, pantry prayer, and moment of faithfulness
• Our service is bigger than we realize—we're friends of God helping bring His plans to life
Keep saying yes, keep pressing into Him, even when your voice is shaking. This is holy ground you're walking on, and God is not finished with your story.
I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text!
Connect with me on Instagram: @Fosterparentwell
@nicoletbarlow https://www.instagram.com/nicoletbarlow/
Website: https://nicoletbarlow.com/
Welcome to the Foster Parent Well podcast, where we have real candid, faith-filled conversations about all things foster care, adoption and trauma. I'm your host, nicole T Barlow. I'm a certified parent trainer, a certified health coach and an adoptive parent myself. This is a space where you can find support so that you can care for your kids with a steadfast faith, endurance and joy. I want you, glad you're here, whether you're listening from the school pickup line, hiding in your closet with a cold cup of coffee, from the school pickup line hiding in your closet with a cold cup of coffee or walking laps around your neighborhood trying to squeeze in five minutes of peace and self-care, you guys, I am with you. I see you. I just am really glad that you hit play today. Now, before we dive into the deep stuff, can we just have a little real life moment? It has been a week, and not the kind of week that I usually have, not the kind of week where you lose your keys in the fridge and you have to microwave your coffee three times Although, yes, I have had to do that too. I'm talking about a big week, you guys, a holy ground kind of week, a week where I have seen God just show off. In the foster and adoptive spaces that I get to be a part of Y'all, we are watching families say yes, like actual kids, walking into actual homes, new parents saying we don't know what we're doing, but we know that we are called. And they're stepping into the deep end of this ministry with courage. And it's not the kind of courage that comes from having it all together, but the kind that says Jesus, if you don't show up, we are sunk. It's that kind of big week, you guys. We've seen reunification celebrated. We've seen some broken stories that have started to mend. We've had a front row seat to the Spirit of God doing what only he can do restoring, redeeming and renewing.
Speaker 1:And I don't know about you, but in the middle of the chaos and of the caseworker emails and target runs for last-minute pull-ups, I need to be reminded that we're not just doing good work, we are doing God's work. This is holy, this is ministry, and it matters more than we sometimes realize in the moment, in the day-to-day. So today's episode is a little different. I want to take some time to speak life over you. I want to bring us back to the Word, not because we need one more thing to do, but because we need to be anchored, we need to be reminded who God is, who we are, what he has promised to do, and especially when we're tired, you guys, when we're unsure, when it feels like the system is winning, we have to come back to that space.
Speaker 1:So, whether your house is quiet today or full of chaos right now, my prayer is that this episode will breathe fresh courage into your soul. Not the cheap motivational quote kind of courage, but the kind that's deeply rooted in scripture, the kind that is backed by the faithfulness of God and infused with the power of the Holy Spirit. So let's get right in Spirit. So let's get right in you, guys. 2 Corinthians 12, 9 says but he said to me my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Speaker 1:Listen, I know the weight of some of the things that you guys are carrying right now the sleepless nights, the trauma meltdowns, the feeling that you are way over your head in this one. But can I just remind you, his grace is enough. It's enough regardless of where you are in the process. So if you're just stepping into this space. First of all, I'm sorry because we talk about a lot of hard on this podcast, but if you are just stepping into this space, he is enough to carry your fears and doubts. You can hand that over to Him. If you've been doing this for a very long time, he's enough to be your strength and endurance. Today, if you're in the space where you're facing grief whether it's grief of reunification and having to see a child leave, or even grief over your present situation you know grieving what you thought this would be like, or grieving you know, grieving what your home used to look like. He is going to give you the grace to get through it, not alone, but by his side. This is not by your strength. This is not your perfectly color-coded behavior charts that's going to make a difference. It's not your ability to keep it all together, you guys. It's nothing you do. It's his grace, and the beauty of that is where you feel the weakest. That's exactly where his power shows up the strongest. So take a breath. You're not doing this alone. You are completely covered by His grace, and I promise you, you guys, even in the moments where it doesn't look like it, even in the moments where you're worried about how all of this is going to affect your kids in the long run. I promise His grace is covering it all.
Speaker 1:Lamentations 3, 22 through 24 says because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. I say to myself the Lord is my portion. Therefore I will wait for him. Portion, therefore, I will wait for him. So maybe you don't feel like you have enough grace for tomorrow. We can trust that he will give us what we need for tomorrow. He'll give it to us tomorrow. His mercies are new every single morning. So guess what? You guys? He hasn't given you the grace to get through tomorrow yet because tomorrow hasn't come. He hasn't called you to that yet.
Speaker 1:I think I've told this story on the podcast before. But when we first started going through this process, or when we really got into foster care with our first placement, our first placement was kind of a roller coaster when it comes to the case side of things, the court side of things, and so it looked like they were going to stay with us. Then it looked like they were going to go home, and when you are in that up and down roller coaster all the time. It is hard to guard your heart, it's hard to protect yourself which I will say side note, I don't think that we're supposed to fully protect ourselves from this hurt but it's hard to not worry about what tomorrow is going to bring, because it's so all over the place, and so I was really worried what reunification would look like. Those our first placement, the two boys were with us for two and a half years before they ended up going back to their biological family and somewhere in this process I just remember the Lord saying to me if you worry about tomorrow, if you worry about what's going to happen tomorrow, you're going through all the emotions of that happening, but it hasn't happened yet, so I haven't given you the grace to get through it yet.
Speaker 1:You're going through all of that emotion without my grace, and just this feeling that I needed to trust that if he called me to that in that moment, that his grace would be enough, and it was. And I think, time after time, I have learned to trust that you know he is going to give me the grace I need for that day, and it doesn't matter what it is. You know. Maybe you're worried or concerned how you're going to feel when kids go home, but maybe it's not that. Maybe it's you're worried or concerned how you're going to feel when kids go home, but maybe it's not that. Maybe it's you're worried about what it's going to look like when your kids become teenagers, or if they're throwing tantrums now, what that is going to look like when they get older. I have a child that we always say that, if you know, especially when he was little, like if he left your house you needed to check his pockets because he had a bit of sticky finger syndrome and y'all the fear of what that was going to grow into when he got older really consumed me sometimes. You know. But just remembering that the Lord covers all of those things that he's going to give us what we need to parent our kids well, and he's also going to give our kids what they need in order to find Him and follow Him In the book of Habakkuk.
Speaker 1:I love this book so much, especially all of the important truths that we can take from it in foster care. But what happens in the book of Habakkuk is Habakkuk looks out his window and basically sees all of this violence and all of this stuff going on all the time. And he's crying out to the Lord Lord, do something, this isn't right, you need to step in right. And he's crying out to the Lord over and over and over again. And finally he says to the Lord, like, why aren't you doing something? And the Lord gives him a little snippet as to what he's doing. And the Lord, you know, kind of lifts the veil a little bit and allows Habakkuk to see what's going on behind the scenes.
Speaker 1:And then, when Habakkuk does see what's going on behind the scenes, and then, when Habakkuk does see what's going on behind the scenes, the Lord says, hey, I'm raising up this evil people to conquer right, to conquer you, and it's going to change everything. And Habakkuk's like, no, no, no, I don't want it to happen that way, right, because we always think we have a better idea of how things should go. But I love that, at the end of Habakkuk, right, that the Lord gives Habakkuk a glimpse of all the things that are going on behind the scene. And at the end of Habakkuk, habakkuk says he's in this place, where he says, though the fig tree should not blossom, nor the fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls. Yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength. He makes my feet like the deer's, he makes me tread on my high places. So I know what it looks like, you guys, to look out my window, or I mean even just my living room, and feel like everything around me is in chaos and I'm crying out to the Lord and saying why don't you fix this right, like why don't you just fix it? But, friend, trust me when I say he is moving, he is making things new. We just aren't always privy to what's going on behind the scenes, but he has given us His word that he is faithful. He has given us His Word that says he works everything together for your good and His glory right, so we can trust in what he says.
Speaker 1:I'm currently reading through all of the Gospels through the Lent season. I'm not really going in order, so I read Luke and now I'm reading through Matthew and something really stood out in my reading today. Matthew 7, 13 through 14 says enter by the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the way is easy. That leads to destruction. And those who enter by it are many, for the gate is narrow and the way is hard. That leads to life. And those who find it are many, for the gate is narrow and the way is hard. That leads to life, and those who find it are few. And I just thought you know we are not privy to all of the stuff that is going on in the background.
Speaker 1:But just because things look hard doesn't mean that things aren't good. Just because things are hard doesn't mean God's not moving. It's easy to look around us and question why are we doing these hard things? And the truth is, hard stuff is exactly what Jesus asks us to do. He tells us it's going to be hard. He calls us to these hard spaces. But you guys, who else is going to do it? We have the heart and mind of Christ. We have his strength and his comfort of Christ. We have His strength and His comfort. We are the most equipped for this job, not because of us, but because of Him, because we have Him living inside of us. We have Him to carry us through whatever hard things he asks us to do, and think about those people that aren't, that don't have Christ right and are trying to do these hard things. Imagine how hard it is for them.
Speaker 1:Psalm 34 says I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord. Let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name altogether. I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant and their faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all of his troubles.
Speaker 1:The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and delivers them. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Oh, fear the Lord, you, his saints. For those who fear him have no lack. The young lions suffer, want and hunger, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. What a gift and a blessing to serve a God that does not hold back any good thing from us.
Speaker 1:We have been saved and you guys, if you are in this ministry of serving vulnerable children. You are part of this movement of his to glorify him and share his love with others. Jesus, at the Last Supper, tells his disciples you aren't just servants, you are friends, because a servant doesn't know what the master's doing, but a friend knows his plans. You, friend, have been invited to know the plans of the Lord and to help bring it to life. Don't miss that. Your service every day is so much bigger than you think or see. If you guys are still with me, thank you for hanging in there with me today. I just had some things on my heart that I felt like I needed to get out there.
Speaker 1:You guys I know this life isn't easy. You're saying yes to hard things every single day. You're parenting kids who come with big feelings, big histories and sometimes big gaps where safety and trust should have lived. And you're showing up On the days it makes sense and on the days that it absolutely doesn't make sense at all. But here's what I want you to hold on to as we close out today you are not invisible. God sees you. He sees the midnight cries and the prayers whispered in the pantry and the moments you want to tap out. But you don't. You are not alone, and this calling it's not something you have to muscle through in your own strength. The one who has called you to this is the one who equips you, and he has promised that his grace will carry you.
Speaker 1:If you're in a season of weariness and wondering if you're doing any of this right, I want you to hear me say you are not failing, you are faithful. And that faithfulness, yes, even in the messy, imperfect kind, it is beautiful, it is a powerful offering to the Lord. You are parenting in the middle of a battlefield and heaven, you guys, is cheering you on. Keep going, keep pressing into Him, keep saying yes, even when your voice is shaking. This is holy ground. You're walking on and God is not done, not with you, not with your child, not with this story.
Speaker 1:Let me pray for us as I wrap up today. Father, we come before you today weary but willing. We thank you for every single parent listening, every mom, every dad, every guardian who has said yes to loving a child from hard places. You see every unseen act of sacrifice, you hear every single cry, you catch every single tear and you promise that your grace is enough. Lord, I ask you that you pour out fresh strength over these parents today.
Speaker 1:Remind them that they are not alone when their hearts are heavy. Lift their eyes to you when the days feel endless. Remind them that you are writing an eternal story through their obedience. Give them wisdom that goes beyond their years, patience that stretches past their limits and joy that defies their circumstances. Be near to them, jesus. Breathe peace into their home and hope into their hearts. Breathe peace into their home and hope into their hearts. Above all, help them rest in your love that they are fully known, fully seen and fully supported by you. You are the God who equips them as the called and you are so, so good. We love you, jesus. We trust you In Jesus' name amen.