Foster Parent Well

Churches That Really Show Up For Foster Families

• Nicole T Barlow • Season 3 • Episode 66

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What happens when a church stops outsourcing “foster care ministry” and starts treating it as discipleship at the core of its life together? We sit down with Callie Priest, Director of Strategic Partnerships at WinShape Homes, to map a clear path from pews to practice- one that helps leaders move past hype and into habits that actually sustain families and heal kids.

We talk candidly about the real challenges pastors face: fear of the unknown, volunteer fatigue, and the myth that a few passionate advocates can carry the whole load. Callie lays out a simple framework any church can adapt—raise awareness from the pulpit, appoint a point leader, set a modest budget, and wrap each fostering household with a care team for meals, rides, respite, and prayer. Just as important, she shows how children’s and student ministries can become trauma-informed with predictable routines, calmer transitions, and volunteers who know how to co-regulate. That quiet competence makes a sanctuary feel like a sanctuary for kids from hard places.

If you’re a pastor, ministry director, or parent longing for your church to show up wisely, this conversation gives you language, tools, and next steps to begin. Subscribe, share this with a leader in your life, and leave a review so more churches can find practical, gospel-shaped help for foster and adoptive families.

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SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to the Foster Parent Well Podcast, where we have real, candid, faith-filled conversations about all things foster care, adoption, and trauma. I'm your host, Nicole T. Barlow. I'm a certified parent trainer, a certified health coach, and an adaptive parent myself. This is a space where you can find support so that you can care for your kids with a steadfast faith, endurance, and joy. I want you to foster parent well. So let's jump in. Life was really full in the best and some of the hardest ways, but it was all really good. So we put our house on the market. I think I talked about that before I took the break. Um, but that has been a little bit of a challenge. Um, but we did that. Our house is up on the market now. Um, we soaked up the holiday season with our people, and it was a really great holiday season. If you follow me on social media, you might have seen this was actually our first Christmas break. So, you know, a two-week break or whatever with not one major meltdown. You guys, that is huge, huge progress for our family. Um, we adopted a sibling group of five. Um, we took placement of them 10 years ago. And this is the first holiday season where we've gone, I think, this length of a stretch without any kind of meltdown. So we really um were excited about that. Now, of course, the first day back to school, we meltdowns were back in place. But but to be able to go that that long of a time without any major meltdowns was, you know, time for us to really say, hey, we are making progress here. Our kids are experiencing healing um here, even if it's slow or it feels slow sometimes. Um, I also spent some time working on some really exciting things that are coming this year. Um, so all of it, it was a lot, but it was all really, really good. Um, with the new year here, I am also being really honest with myself and getting back to the habits that help me do a good job as a parent to help me really parent well. And we talk about this a lot on the podcast, but in the second half of last year, things got really hectic for our family. And I kind of got out of a lot of the habits that I preach on this podcast. Um, and so I'm really being intentional about getting back to those things in this new year. Y'all, nothing's nothing about it is flashy. It's not some newfound like idea or whatever. It's just simple and steady rhythms that support my body, that support my mind and my heart so that I can show up regulated and present um here at home. Um, I actually, it led me to create my self-care reset guide. It's practical, it's realistic, and it's built for parents like us that are caring a lot. So I'll put a link in the show notes to that if you want to grab your free copy and you can do the reset with me in this new year. I'm also in the middle of getting all of my travel plans finalized for the fill retreat that is happening at the end of January in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Y'all, I am so excited for this weekend. I did Fill Together, which was uh the married version of Filled. I did, we did my husband and I did filled together in the fall. Um, but I am really excited about getting to do the filled retreat, which is just for women here at the end of January. I believe there are still a few tickets left if you're interested. Um, you can go back and listen to the episode I did with Jamie Finn, and she shared a discount code just for my listeners. So you can go to that episode and grab that discount code and grab a ticket before they're sold out. They always sell out, you guys. So um get on that when you can. Um, today's episode, though, is such an important conversation. We're talking about the role of the church in supporting foster and adoptive parents, not just in theory, but in like real tangible ways. Like, what does this look like? How does a church jump in and start a foster care ministry? Um, I'm joined by Callie Priest from WindShape Homes. Callie serves as the director of strategic partnerships for WindShape Homes. Throughout over 20 years of church ministry, Callie believes that the church is the agent in which God accomplishes, accomplishes his mission and is passionate about helping the people of God connect with the purposes of God. Y'all, this conversation is full of wisdom, hope, and really practical insight for how the church can step in and walk alongside families who are saying yes to this calling. I'm really thankful for this conversation and I'm thankful that you're here today, too. So let's jump in. Welcome, Callie, to the show. I would love for you to introduce yourself and tell our audience what you do.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, thank you, Nicole. I'm so thankful to get to be a part of your podcast today. Uh, you are well known in this space, and I feel so honored to be a part of this conversation. Uh, and uh yeah, just really thankful for the opportunity today. Uh, my name is Callie Priest. I am the director of strategic partnerships for Windshape Homes. Uh, Windshape Homes is a foster care agency here in the state of Georgia. Uh, we come alongside local churches primarily to help mobilize families into the work of foster care, making sure they um have the whole process of licensing, of equipping, of having placements uh in their home, but then also that they're supported really well as they're doing that through their local church communities. I stepped into this role about three years ago. So I will celebrate my my three-year work anniversary here in the next few months. Um, and prior to coming to Windshape Homes, I uh actually have about a 20-year uh career in church ministry, in local church ministry, and nonprofit leadership as well, um, primarily doing work of global strategy and partnership development. And so uh these last few years, stepping into this space of child welfare, foster care uh has been a unique shift for me to more drastic kind of reality. Um, but my passion, uh the way that I'm wired, gifted, the way I feel like God has called me uh to be faithful with what he's given me is to love the church, to nurture the church, to pour my life out, uh, to mobilize the people of God into his purposes. And so it just aligns really well to get to lead a team that is nurturing believers, nurturing faith families, local church communities, um into the space of caring for vulnerable families and children specifically, uh so healing and restoration through the gospel can occur.

SPEAKER_01:

That's amazing. And I love the clarity that God's given you about who you are, what your gifts are, and how to utilize those, I think, for the benefit of the big C church. Um so why do you think, you know, as you're stepping into this space, you've been in, you know, global missions and that kind of stuff, but why do you think it's important for foster care and adoption to be a mission that the church gets involved in?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I think number one, it's very clear uh of what that God's called us to this, that God has asked us to uh to care for our neighbor, to yes, make disciples the great commission, but also the great commandment to uh to love our neighbors and to do well for the city that he's placed us in, to be a part of where uh our community is and how we're rooted. With that then comes the um the ability as believers to be incarnate in these space, to be Christ's kingdom, to be the presence of God and to bring justice, mercy, peace, goodness for those that are around us. And so as we love our neighbor, some of the practical outflows of that are things like visiting widows and orphans. We see it in James. We see um, you know, uh in the book of Psalm, we say God will defend the fatherless, he will uphold those who are vulnerable. But the way that he does it is through his people. And so, as believers in and people who are hopefully part of local fellowships, the church, big C and small C church, um, it's an act of faithfulness, it's an act of uh stepping into something we can be very confident God has asked his people to step into. It's complex. We have to be learners, we have to be wise, we have to be knowledgeable and equipped, you know, on how best to do that in our current time of redemptive history, right? Like we we live now uh in this space uh in our community realities, but um, we have the presence of God with us in us. And so um being a part of foster care ministry adoption, it's gospel. It is gospel thread, it is gospel narrative uh in every way. Um that yeah, I could probably preach a whole sermon on uh, you know, if we wanted to. So it's an easy, it's an easy step of faithfulness to to be a part of the work of foster care and adoption.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think that that's a great kind of sermon, mini sermon on on why we we should be serving. And you know, as we have God's heart in us, I think his heart for the fatherless becomes our heart. As we become Christ-like, then you know, our passions become what his passions are, and we're not doing stuff for our own to serve our own needs, but really to serve the father. So I love that. Well, what does it look like for the church to support foster care and adoption? I mean, because it is complex and it is miss messy, messy, messy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I think first and foremost, um, one of the so a statement that I um a mentor of mine instilled in me and that I tried to articulate even to my team, and as we talk about the work of ministry that Windshape Holmes is a part of, uh, we believe the church is the agents in which God is accomplishing his mission. And so there is a there is a beautiful principle here of um it's first and foremost discipleship work. It's first and foremost uh not programmatic. Um and so I think oftentimes it can be challenging for churches because especially foster care and adoption, there is a programmatic reality there in some ways. Like families need support. We need some structures and some, you know, systems and some programming. But first and foremost, it is discipleship. So as pastors and leaders and elders are doing the work of discipleship in their people, we hopefully then are equipping the saints for the work of ministry. And many times the outflow of that are, you know, people stepping into foster care, stepping into adoption. Awareness is a big thing. Um, I think even for pastors, like not being aware, um, and that's not their fault, right? Like that is that's just something that I think even as agencies and uh other organizations, like we we constantly are just trying to be a helper, you know, even to raise awareness. That's why podcasts like yours are important so that you know there can there can be just more information and awareness uh of families and and children that are in our communities. Um but I think awareness is is one of the major barriers. And then I think it's hard. And so I think also churches have a hesitancy sometimes to step into this because it is complex. It is it is hard. I remember um so before coming to Windshape, I served for about 12 years. Large, large church in Birmingham, Alabama, uh, was there for um over a decade. Uh, we had a moment where um we had a very healthy, robust culture of foster adoption. Um, it took a long time to get there, but I remember a Sunday, our pastor, after a time of kind of repentance and prayer, um, we uh he preached a sermon talking about the vulnerable in our community. He had the local default, you know, leader come, uh stand on stage. She said, There's about 210 kids in our county. Uh, and he said, guys, like let's let's engage in this. Um, and I want us to call us to begin to figure out how we can um how we can actually take some steps towards solving this this problem in our in our community. Uh, and you know, the next few weeks we had a meeting and there were like over 300 people that showed up and wanted to get trained and licensed and become foster. So we had this huge like moment of just uh of obedience and faithfulness. Skip forward though, about a year and a half later, uh, I remember um I remember standing in the hallway and a friend of mine walked down the hallway and she was in tears. And she said, Callie, like I have not been able to go to and sit in a worship service, a full worship service for over like four months. Um, you know, you guys called us to do this, and yet my child that was placed in their home, you know, uh our children's ministry can't handle the behaviors that he has every time that he shows up. And so it lasts 15 minutes, and then I have to come get him. And her her comment to me was like, I don't think we were ready for this. And so there are these things like when people start to foster adopt, it shifts a church culture. It shifts, there has to be awareness, but then there also has to be equipping and training. And um, because again, it's not just a programmatic aspect, it is a soul reality, it is a a family child reality. And so um, yeah, calling people in to foster as a pastor means that there is much work on the back end and the front end as well, but it will shift your culture and change your ministry for the good, for the for the betterment of the whole. Um, but it is oftentimes something that is unknown and sometimes can be, I think, a little bit scary and fearful for pastors, leaders, ministry leaders that are that are navigating and leading in the church.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think especially for pastors that don't have um firsthand knowledge about the system or about trauma, um, I think it can be really scary because you don't know what you're getting into. I mean, it's the same thing for people that are stepping into it for the first time. When you don't know what you're getting into, it feels scary. It feels messy. And you don't even know how to create a support system if you don't know what to expect. Like you don't know what's coming. Um, and so I it is a lot of, you know, kind of not trial and error, but learning as you go, right? Like learning how to and then being prepared. Like, how do we disciple? I love that you call it discipleship because I think that portion is often skipped over that we compartmentalize discipleship and this service in our community. But this service is discipleship of both people that are outside of the community that we're bringing in. It's discipleship of them, showing them the gospel in a very tangible sense. But it's also discipleship for our people. It's discipleship for people that are in the church. The way that Jesus discipled, the way that he taught his followers, um, what he wanted them to do is he brought them him them along as he was in service, right? So he's serving out, he's healing, he's, you know, meeting the needs of other people, but he's taking them along with him. And I think, you know, foster care and adoption, stepping into those kind of messy spaces sometimes is taking our people along this journey and saying, this is what it looks like to take up your cross. This is what it looks like to serve other people, this is what it looks like to lay down your life and to love your neighbor and all of those things is stepping into these spaces that are hard and messy and broken and all of that.

SPEAKER_02:

Right, right. And I, you know, and it's as much as the lives that are transformed, that are brought into homes, you know, children that are that are placed in foster arms, it is as as much though, a change of heart and a change of soul and transformation of our own selves as humans that are engaging in this work, uh, and for the church. Like you said, like the way Jesus taught was to bring along. And so like a family in your church that is fostering uh will change your church in a way that can they can only be changed if that family is in your church. And that's one of the things that I um I love having conversations with um foster parents, parents who are caregivers, um, because oftentimes we talk a lot about how they need the church to help support them, they need the church to help rally and to to help and to care. And that's very true. That is a primary like reality and need. Yeah. I oftentimes love that conversation though, where I say, or we talk about hey, your church needs your family just as much as you need the church family to care for you. They need you to help expose, show, like welcome them into your household, welcome them into your mess and the family and the chaos and the and the and the need, you know, because it is just as important of a discipleship of your family around you that's part of your church family to see how God is transforming your own lives and and to to allow them to be a part of that narrative of the goodness of God in foster care, the the good story of foster care and of adoption, because it's our own story as believers, um, as followers of Christ. We've been we've been adopted into this family, and no better way to see it than to be a part of. Um, yeah. So there's a discipleship aspect that foster families get to have in their local congregation just as much as they need their local congregation to care for them and love them.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. Well, I, you know, I think too, we don't often realize that there are people in our churches that don't really understand the depth of the gospel. Um, I remember I had, you know, kind of in the middle of our journey, I ran into a woman that was in the church, not she wasn't in my local church, but she led a ministry in our local community and um and she saw me in the grocery store and she was like, Well, what's been going on in your life? And I was like, Well, we just took in these five kids. And I mean, she knew that we fostered. Um, but she was like, I was like, Well, we just took in these five kids that needed a home for adoption or whatever. And she looked at me as straight faced as possible and just said, Why would you do that? Like she didn't understand. And, you know, I at the moment, I was like, Well, it's just kind of what we do. But then I had to go home. Like there's a space in um in the Bible that talks about be ready to tell where your hope comes from. Right. And nobody had ever asked me where my hope came from. My my life didn't look any different than anybody else before we got into this. But I had to kind of practice like, where does my hope come from? What is my answer when people say, Why are you doing this? Right. And so I kind of went home and rewrote out like what my answer should have been. Um, because I think it is such an opportunity to share the gospel, even with people within the church. They may know the gospel, but really to understand the depth of like Christ is inside of you and his heart is for this. So then my heart has to be for this. Um and and explaining that, you know, God says that we won't see a brother in need and leave him there. Right. And and so if I see a need, if I see a sibling set of five that needs a home and I have space in my home to do that, um, and y'all, that space is relative. Like it's not always like an overabundance of space, but but if I have the ability to do that, then I have to do that. That is what God calls me to. That is the gospel. That is what he has done for me, and that is what he's called me to do to for other people.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's good. Okay, so I'm curious what if if I was to ask you that, if this that lady was to ask you that today, what is your what is your hope answer?

SPEAKER_01:

It's been a long time since I practiced this, but but it really is that, you know, God has taken me in as his child and he has given me his heart. He lives inside of me. He is a father to the fatherless. And so when I see kids that are in need, it's my job to step up and to share that hope and that love with them. I have no other option but to overflow with his love to other people. Yeah, that's so good.

SPEAKER_02:

I love it. Well, and that's where I am convicted on a daily basis as well. Um, that as I lead in this space, that I am leading with a gospel narrative, that it is less about like, again, there's active, you know, realities, like we've got to engage. There's programmatic realities. Um, but I'm not, I don't want us to create more advocates. I'd like for us to create more disciples in this space of care and adoption. So that's a different shift. We do need advocates. That's probably an unfair statement to make. But uh in my mind, like I want to see more disciples faithful in this space with proper uh, you know, narratives of what Christ has done for us. Therefore, we get to as a joy and outpouring and the heart and the suffering and the sacrifice, because again, it's what God has called us to, and we have everything that we need in him and through the body of Christ to be able to engage in this and to do it in a way that honors and glorifies him, but is just the next step of faithfulness. Um, and it's again less, less advocacy and more faithfulness, faithful disciples in this space.

SPEAKER_01:

So I love that you say that because you know, I I was reading a post the other day that was talking about people in the church stepping up and and but it was more of a call advocacy for for bodies to step up and provide beds, right? And the reality is, is if people are stepping up outside of their faith, this is gonna crush them. Like they have to be at a place in their faith where they can do this through the strength of God, not in their own strength to be able to fulfill the purpose. And so it really is discipleship. It's about teaching people that they are saved, that they are empowered by the spirit of God within them, um, helping them understand the word and God's promises, but in right standing, so that they're not looking for a specific outcome, but really they understand that they have Christ and that is the ultimate blessing. Um, when people get that, they will naturally step into hard spaces. That's right. That's right. They will naturally step in. And as so I train um new foster parents, I do the pre-service training as people are getting into foster care. And it's very interesting. I think I've said this on the podcast before, but I'll have people come in and I'm like, kids are gonna burn your house down. Like they're they're gonna tear up all your stuff. They may be physically aggressive, right? And they're gonna yell at you and you're gonna, you know, I get told my kids hate me. In fact, right before I got on this podcast today, one of my kids was screaming at me that they hate me. Um, but but I get that on a regular basis. Um, and it's funny, the people that you can tell the spirit of God is just moving in them to do this, they show up that third day of training and they're like, Well, I know you said that that this was gonna be hard and this all this stuff could happen, but I'm really excited. And it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. It's a gospel lens.

SPEAKER_02:

That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. Yeah, and so you get people that are really equipped with the spirit of God to step into this. And I I really think those people stay in it more long term. Um, and they are better disciples of the children and families that they encounter through this process. Right. Because they're moving from the love of God not to earn anything.

SPEAKER_02:

Right, right. Because they again understand even their posture as child of God. And yeah, it's just a different lens. It totally is. And then even just to push in there a little bit, like even more important than why uh being that family being a part of a faith community, then that even upholds them in that, yeah, that that strengthens them in that. Yes, practically, physically, you know, but holds them up and strengthens that what you just said in them of continuing to trust God, continuing to have faith lens, because the day-to-day will get hard. The reality will set in. Uh, every family that we call into this space is not ready. Obviously, we want to make them as ready as we can, but we cannot make them, you know, fully ready. There is a there is a component of growth and discipleship of their own in this process. So a faith community, supporting a foster family even means holding them up spiritually. Like that's a really important role of even our pastors. Like, do you know how to pastor and shepherd a family that is fostering or is adopting? Because that is a different lens. It's a different way of nurture, of prayer, of what scriptures do they need to hear? What how do they need to be bathed with the word, you know, like as they're doing this work? Again, they're they're not heroic or unique in that aspect, but they do need a unique strengthening, a unique um care uh that is important. Um, and so again, there's some unique aspects that the church gets to have in this journey, you know, alongside of family. Um that I I love it. Yeah, I'm the same way. Like when we have families that enter into you know our discover foster care like session, after you know, my team's gone in and we're hopefully like raising awareness, you know, uh mobilizing and asking families to engage in this. I love the wide-eyed though, like, what are we getting ourselves into? Um and then, like you said, though, seeing that step then of like, okay, like let's all right, let's do it. Yeah, like let's take this step, knowing good and well uh that we're not perfect, uh, that no process is gonna be perfect, no agency really is even gonna be perfect to like get you through all this, but you will have a faith community, uh, an agency like ours, you know, there are tons of resources uh that we have to have success, you know. But again, one of the most important aspects for us is to think and to remember that vulnerable families and children, healing and restoration through the gospel is the only way that this will occur. Um, and so starting out in that right posture, that route right foundation, uh, this is something God is asking his people to step into. We can, we should, and therefore, then we need to make sure that our faith communities are strong and aware of you know how best to love and support families that are that are doing this. It's going to transform them, it's going to transform the child that's in their home. Hopefully, it's transforming the family that this child came from and was removed from. That's a whole other conversation. And therefore, community generational transformation. It can happen. I think one of the things it while you were talking, it reminded me though, I think oftentimes because this feels, and it is, it's an urgent crisis reality uh in our communities. It feels like the even like relentless recruitment of families should be the priority, right? Like, but again, that caution and that care and and concern to all right, take a step back. Slowness is our friend, you know, like it's a kind reality to ask a family to enter into a journey in a way where they are again made ready. There's assessments, there's um, so there is urgency. And I think sometimes that drives, you know, again, I speak as an agency that drives a lot of our, you know, like we've got to get more families uh into this space. And we do, like we do. Um, but this will this will be a reality for us this side of redemptive history. This is not going away. Foster care, right, the the reality of broken families and and brokenness in our communities will not go away. It will always be here. So, what is our pacing, you know, like in again, bringing in healthy families that are ready and then making sure they are sustained and supported and that there is good partnership within those local faith communities to because that ultimately is how, I mean, again, it's the age at which God's accomplishing his mission is. So we need healthy faith families to raise up foster families, but also to support them well as they are going about the work of ministry they've been called to.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And I love that you talked about when you were talking about supporting them and kind of holding them up from a spiritual aspect, right? Kind of pouring truth into them, being careful not to cross over into that hero mentality, which can be hard for people who don't understand it. They can, it can look like, hey, these people are saints for stepping into this stuff, right? Um, but really helping people understand how to build up other people. How do you support people spiritually that are walking through this? Because that hero mentality is not helpful for anybody. I mean, I remember there was a season I was going through and we were under a lot of stress. There was a lot of anxiety in me in our home because we didn't know how to navigate some of the things that we are facing. We are facing it for the first time. And I confessed to a group of women in a Bible study, like, I'm yelling at my kids and this is not okay. And they were like, Yeah, but look at all you're doing. Right. Like they excused it because I was doing hard things. And and what I needed was not somebody to excuse my sin because I was doing hard things, but I needed people to lift me up in truth and to and to help me feel empowered in the Holy Spirit to do what was right, not just to say, hey, it doesn't really matter how you go about doing this. It's just the fact that you're doing it is enough. Because that's not true, right? Like how I how I do it matters. And and I need to be faithful in the whole thing. And so making sure that your church body understands how to support foster families in their faith, in their walk, in their journey, um, spiritually, I think is a big deal. But what would you say? Okay, so there's there's a programmatic side of it, just so that there's some structure to it, but there's also some organic um parts to a foster care ministry in a church. What does that look like? Like, what does what does support of foster care and adoption look like in the church?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, great question. I think one of the most important things uh is to first start and remember that every local church like should have their own strategy and should have their own vision for this. And I say should because I think uh oftentimes, you know, especially organizations, agencies like us, and and I'll say this like we here's what we think you should do. Uh we'll come at it at that because we're experts and we we kind of know, you know, like here's some things. I like to have a conversation though, like I just had a conversation with an amazing, amazing pastor, a new partnership that we're starting, uh, and great conversation. Um, he said, we we had a we had a great conversation where he just was very honest and he said, Callie, the reason why we haven't done anything until now uh is because I don't know how. And I loved that conversation because I was like, yes, that's right. You don't know how, and that's okay. Like um, there are there's a component of um of seeking out, I think, organizations or even even a family that has fostered in your church to bring others in that are, I don't want to call them experts, but subject matter experts, you know, into um, I think pastors starting out with curiosity. Um, do I have any foster families or adoptive families in my church that I even know of? Like taking an assessment and then asking some questions, you know what I mean? Like of just like um, yeah, like what do we want foster care and adoption ministry to look? What do we want family ministry to look like uh in our in our church uh as a missional component, you know, of of what we're doing in our community to care for vulnerable families and children? Uh and so, you know, I like to encourage our pastors, like don't outsource your strategy, don't outsource your vision for that to even an organization. Like get together with your pastors and elders and ministers and faith family and pray and seek God to ask, because you exist in a unique community and in a unique like city. And so there are components there that need to be taken into consideration. Um, and pray and ask God, like what kind of resources do you already have in existence there at the church? People, money, organizations, you may have ministries already that somebody in your church is leading, you know, and you may just not know about it. Um, so an assessment and prayer time just to look at like what resources do you have and ask God to show you and bring galvanize those things, you know, together. Um, I do think that there are some really important aspects though that churches do need to consider. Like, um, how are you going to call people into foster an adoption? Like that has to be something you will have some people just in their faith journey as you are discipling and loving them and making them faithful, equipping them for the work of you know of ministry, um, that this will be what God calls them into. I do think there is a component though of stewardship that pastors, leaders, elders need to take into consideration that this is something that needs to be communicated to the faith family and called into. Um, it's the same thing that we see like, how are you making disciples of all nations? Like, what does mission look like at your church? That needs to be a component that's added in to call people into this space. Knowing then there's some questions that you need to ask. Who's gonna lead it? Uh, what does a budget look like? Who are people who want to serve and to volunteer and to be a part of this ministry? And so as you have families that are being called into foster care and adoption, you do need to create some support structures that are gonna care for them well. Again, spiritually, though, physically. Uh, and it's an it's a one-anothering type of reality. It's not a it is a programmatic thing, but it with the one-anothering discipleship as the main lens of that. Like, um, you know, um, what what do your families actually need? What do you not just assume that they need? Um how are you educating and equipping your body? Those that have stepped in to say, we want to care, we want to be a part of this, they need to probably get into proximity to foster care if they haven't. You know, we used to say, like in our global mission reality, like someone that would step into our office and say, I feel called to go, you know, to live in um Somalia. Great. Have you gone on a short-term mission trip? Have you, are you making disciples here? Um, we're a long way from living our lives completely, you know, over here. So there's a there's a beautiful journey of proximity that we need to make sure our families are in. I think probably equipping your church with trauma-informed like resources, getting them ready. Uh again, back to my story of you know, my friend who said, our preschool ministry is not equipped to receive the child that's in my family. And that's just as much as an important discipleship aspect as them being in that family. And so, um, is your preschool ministry gonna be ready? Uh, your student ministry, your your children's ministry, um, there's some components there that I think are really important for churches to consider and to to add that aspect. So if I could put it in a nutshell, how are you gonna raise awareness? How are you gonna call people into faithfulness into this? How are you gonna spiritually nurture them, teach them the word of God uh through the reality of foster care and adoption and the need that's in your community? And then what structures can you set up that are gonna care for people well? Um, do you have an agency that you want to partner with that is a subject matter expert uh and can be a part of your body, be a part of your church so that there's trust, there's like-mindedness, there's alignment to get people through a process to actually be licensed because there's a state regulatory reality here that you will need to take into consideration. Um, and then what types of support structures can you set up when you do have families that are fostering and adoption that are unique, um, people to be around them, to support them well, that are that are in addition to your pastors, elders, and and church staff, because it's a large like support network that needs to be in place. Um, and again, I would say seek out those that are that are just smarter than you uh to help you to help you develop your strategy. Don't outsource the work of foster care and adoption to an to an organization. Don't do it. Invite them in to help you um get equipped, strengthened, you know, solid in in what you want to be, and then ask God to bless it.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know. That may sound too simple, but yeah. No, no, I mean I think that's true. And I think too many times we try to create this like box structure that we can give off to every church. And I mean, I've been in a couple of different churches since we've gotten into. Foster care. I was in a small church when we started. I'm in a larger church now. And the structure of those ministries needs to look very, very different because of the church setup. You know, in the smaller church, it was much more possible for things to be a little more organic. People see a need, meet a need kind of thing, right? Because we were seen constantly by everybody in our church. But now in a bigger church, that's not necessarily so. And so there has to be a little bit more um structure. But but even in that structure, I don't think all structures work within the context of our church. Um and so it's really about like how as a church do we want to disciple our people? I think that I think that's all really good.

SPEAKER_02:

If I I think I know which church you go to, which is an incredible church that has significant just movement and activity among the foster and adoptive, like just there are so many families who have stepped into faithfulness. Um and I know there are many structures in place. There's staff that are kind of you know focused in. Um, and uh yeah, I think there's a there is a scalable reality to make sure you are caring well uh that needs to be put in place as you have more and more families.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I mean, even in our church, even in our church as it's grown, it is a great, I mean, they they're everybody involved is doing a really, really good job to try to meet the needs of everybody. But like even in our children's ministry, we've had to like step in and go, hey, we may need to provide some additional resources because our number of foster families are growing. So the number of foster kids that are in the classrooms, it's not one child anymore, right? Like there are multiple kids in a classroom. Um, and and so the way that the classrooms are set up, the way that things, you know, need to happen, um, are needing to shift. And and they're seeing those needs, and we're kind of working through um that as it comes. But I think it continues to be a process regardless of where you are. You know, as the ministry grows, the needs, the programs, the the things may need to change as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. We um, so one of the again, we're an agency. So our our main, you know, activity is helping get families licensed and um and through the process. But part of what we offer then as we partner with local churches is like our care community support structures. And so I actually have a uh a girl on my staff, incredible leader. That's her job. Her job is to sit at the table with our church partners and ask, how can we help you develop the infrastructure that you're gonna need, you know, to care. And so it's literally like, hey, here's how, here's how we need to call people into it. We're gonna train these folks. Like we need to appoint a leader. Here's how I would look at budget, here's how I would look at, you know, just the regular rhythms, here's how we need to set up, you know, four or five people to be around this family for the first few months. And then it may need to shift. And then here's question. So there are a lot of practicals, you know, that need to need to be a part of um setting these things up. But again, um just careful attention, you know, and and again, I think back to that that trauma awareness. Um, you know, uh again, we could probably talk about this for hours and hours, but like the beauty of a trauma-informed church. So as families are um, you know, beginning to engage in this, like uh I think back to a a church partner of ours. We launched with them, it's a big church, an amazing church. Um, and they started, they had like nine families that like stepped into foster care. So within a year, we had like nine families that were, you know, welcoming uh kiddos into their home. And uh I had a conversation with the children's minister, and he was like, We're so excited like to have these kids in our children's minister, we're gonna roll the red carpet out, and one of the one of the foster dad, like caregiver dads was standing there with me, and he goes, actually don't do like for the the little guy in my home, that actually would be really the worst case scenario. Overwhelming, yeah. And I remember that moment of that children's pastor going, oh, like I didn't think about it. And so that was the conversation that that moment was like, hey, how about we set up a training for some trauma just awareness uh with your with your staff? Would that be okay? So we did, and like again, like it was the beginning of their revelation and their um, yeah, just their equipping and awareness of like how best to disciple kiddos in their ministry that are now welcomed, you know, into these homes that are a part of this church. And I love that it's a process, it's a discipleship process even for them of how to serve well and how to create environments where the gospel can be heard and environments where a child feels safe, a child feels comfortable, a child feels attached, a child feels, and that's just on a Sunday morning for an hour and a half, children's ministry reality. Um, and that is what we are called to in the church to to actually submit ourselves into sacrifice for. Um that's working.

SPEAKER_01:

That was one of the biggest things for my kids when they came into our home. We would go to church. And we I remember we came back the next week and they're like, it's the same people. And I'm like, I know, like to have that community where it's not just family that loves our kids, but it's really a church community that is pouring into them, I think is is very, very, very helpful. Um, but as you were speaking, I was kind of thinking, you know, of your background in like global missions kind of work, because I imagine that it's very much the same in that if you're going to another country, you have to understand the culture. You have to understand the language, you have to understand the different dynamics and what words or actions or whatever mean to those people because it may be different than what we're used to, right? And so for our kids that are coming in that may be coming in from a different kind of culture, um, it's the same. We have to learn the the words, the actions, the behaviors or whatever that are gonna help them feel loved and hear the design uh the gospel well. Yeah, that's exactly right.

SPEAKER_02:

Reducing the barrier of yes, of the proclamation of the good news of Christ. And that is the onus is on the person, you know, like to to humbly submit that that you don't know, uh, to be a learner again, to go from uh a person who is a fully functioning, probably very successful, highly capable, to now, again, like if you're moving to another country, you now need to know how to ask to go to the bathroom. Like that is a disability. Does that make sense? Like that has to be kind of a part of who you are because yeah, it's it's language, it's worldview, it's culture, and it's a it's a it's a learning process. So it's not just that you go take this language class and now all of a sudden you are, you know, gonna be successful.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh I've taken a lot of classes and I'm still learning every day.

SPEAKER_02:

Exactly, which is why we meet one another and you know, like and those that are more wise than us to help equip us um in that. Um, one you what you just said just brought up. Um, I was recently in a meeting um where we were hearing from one of our church partners, and uh they were telling us, they actually came and told our board uh this the other day, but um a church that we've been partnering with, they have many families that are fostering and that have adopted, like permanency has come through adoption in many ways. And there's one family, uh 13-year-old girl that's in their family uh recently just got adopted by the family, but prior to that, um, has just been a part of that faith family for over two years. Um, you know, well invested in her student ministry, uh went to camp, has like deep relationships with her small group leaders, and they've done a lot of work as a student ministry just to know how best to care well, have done trauma training, yes, but then have honestly submitted themselves as volunteers and as ministry leaders to like want to know how best to disciple and to love this family and the kiddos that are in this family. Uh, this young lady went to camp um and uh and and became a believer. And so like, but and and while I am like so thankful to God that that has happened, what it reminded me of was that it's taken a whole community and faith family to that submitted themselves to this, not just this family that became a foster family. Um, it was the whole that has been doing a lot of work together and learning and failing. And then this is God's been so faithful, you know. Like there was there was a proclamation of the gospel, and she could hear it. And it was he called, he called her to himself, and this is the journey, you know what I mean? And it was a part of this church that had committed themselves to to love and to care well um for this one child, but for the many children that are that are in their church. And so I think there are outcomes like that that God is desiring and and longing for the church to see that fruit because of the work that they're committing themselves to do. So um I that brings me to a reminder too. I would encourage pastors and ministry leaders in the church to also don't forget to declare what God is accomplishing in foster and adoptive families. Like um, you know, we see in the book of Acts, like Paul and they come back and they they meet in the church of Antioch and they've been sent out and God's been doing amazing work in and through them. And they come back and they gather the church together and they say, We want to declare all the things that God. They literally had a storytelling moment. Uh, and it's the same, you know, for for these type of moments. Like, how is God doing good work in and among your people? Declare what he is accomplishing through the work of foster care, through the work of adoption, because then that actually brings more fruit because that's the seeds of declaration and proclamation. And then more want to participate and more want to be a part of what he's doing. So that would just be sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I love that. Well, what happens if somebody's church is not currently involved in foster care? Um, like, you know, this primarily the audience here is foster and adoptive families or families that are moving into that. But if their church is not currently supporting foster families or advocating for foster care and adoption, right? What does somebody do to kind of present that or, you know, talk to their pastor or their leadership or whatever about foster care? How do you go about that within the church community?

SPEAKER_02:

That's a that's a loaded question and a good one. Um I actually think that there probably are, you know, more than oftentimes not, uh, churches that don't have, and it it requires a spark, a moment, uh, an engagement, a conversation. Practically, and not to plug one-shaped homes, but to plug one-shaped homes, I would say, like, we actually are a great, like, just because we're in the state of Georgia and are an agency here, nationally, we are always willing to help consult, even with individuals who are wanting to help their church get engaged. So we'd love to have a conversation if we can be of a of help to that. Uh, I think of there's a there's a family in Tennessee, in Maryville, Tennessee. Uh, he was an elder at the church and literally got connected to us through like a relationship we had, called us, said, How do I even start this? Um, and we walked alongside of them for a two-year process. The governor of Tennessee's wife actually like named them a foster like community because of just all the work that they've been doing, not because of what we did, but we literally just walked alongside of them to help them think. Um, so number one, I would say prayer is an important step to take. Uh, begin to pray and begin to ask God uh to bring the right people, uh leaders in your church, um, to your proximity. Um, the second thing that I would say is if you are a part of a local fellowship and you are a foster adoptive uh family or you want to have a ministry uh in your local fellowship, after you've prayed and considered, I would evaluate uh what your leadership is in your church. Like, are you well invested in your local fellowship? Do you know uh the vision, this not say strategy, but are you aware of the vision and mission of your church? And it does align with every church. Again, as believers, like we are called to this. That is an easy yes. But like, what are some maybe current things that already exist in your church that you could begin to just lead or be a part of or strengthen? Um, you know, I don't necessarily think that oftentimes it's a new thing that you have to create. Oftentimes there are already functions of the ministry of the church that are happening, benevolence realities, community engagements. Um, is there already an organization that they support? Like do a little bit of work to mine and to understand and how to strengthen the existing work, I think, of your local fellowship is a good place to start. And then I would have a conversation. Um, who is the closest person in proximity to you? Is it an elder? Is it your small group leader? Is it um somebody on the missions committee? Is it your pastor? You know, like um knowing that these are the kinds of conversations that pastors have all the time of we should start something, I would say go in with an open-handed posture to say, I've been praying and I really think that we need to submit some time to prayer and consideration. Like, how are we engaging vulnerable families and children? And I would like to help us do that. Uh, so again, a friendship reality to your pastors, elders to begin that conversation. Um, and then I would um I would then, you know, be a catalytic like leader, like in that. So are there foster families already in your church? Like, can you gather them together and just ask some questions? Like, yeah, how are you supported? Do you feel supported? Do you want support? How could we do that? Um, I would do work to understand my local DFACS office or whatever the like, you know, child protective like services reality in your community. Understand your community and invite your pastors into that. Like, go together and have a lunch. You know what I mean? Something again, that sounds like a lot of work, but again, a little bit more of the gathering information stage, I think is really helpful for leaders in the church to just be a part of that, then informs making some steps and decisions as to how do we want to engage? What does our vision and strategy look like for foster and adoptive families? Those are just some kind of on-ramps I would encourage uh folks to take um before coming in and saying, Hey, we want to start a ministry, here's what we need. Um, you know, do it in a way that is um informing um and and helpful uh for pastors and leaders to kind of gain some footholds. And um yeah, that I think that's it's just a that seems to be a more um, I think, kind way, honestly, to serve your pastors and your leaders uh of your local fellowship.

SPEAKER_01:

So yeah, I think I think that's great. Um, I also think that like I was in a church one time where I went to church leadership and I'm like, hey, I think we need a foster care ministry. And uh the pastor said, no, we'll never do that. We'll never like formalize, not that we didn't have organic support, right? But we'll never formalize this. But it's funny. So I just kind of prayed through that and um, you know, just said, okay, Lord, like I mean, we felt supported in our church community just organically anyway. Um, but about a year later, we had so many foster families in our church that the pastor came to me and said, Okay, we've got to do something because this we can't disciple our people well. Now we have so much of this in our environment, we don't know how to disciple through it. And so, how do we put something in place? And so, you know, I would encourage people too like, don't get discouraged because you don't know how God's moving. Like, if God is moving in you to to prompt something like this in your church, like he will continue to move. And I'm not saying like, I mean, I didn't go back to the pastor at all, like he's the one that came to me just because organically it grew. Um, and the Lord just kind of moved in that environment. And it's funny, that pastor eventually fostered himself. And it was funny to see how the church changed. Discipleship at the church changed, perspectives changed. I mean, just everything changed. It was just very, very neat to watch. Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. No, I I've heard that story many, many a times because again, uh, the same spirit that lives in your pastor lives in you. And so, like, again, this is a this is a um, this is a yes on the table. Like God says, visit widows and orphans. Like we have, we have what we need to do. Um, so I think I I had a conversation the other day with a guy who um, you know, his family is fostering and same conversation. How do I get my pastors, you know, to engage in this? And I said, honestly, I would invite them to dinner, like invite the school table. You know what I mean? Like invite them in, um, create spaces for others to be at your table, uh, just to know and see and understand. And then like let's see what happens. Um, and so that's what he's doing. Uh, I have another, another lady. Um, they're one of our foster families. Their church is not engaged in foster care. Like, we have care support for them, but that's it. You know what I mean? Um well, so she basically like invited, I think it was like 40 people at their church to sit on a like to come to like a thing at her house where we had a panel discussion on what is the state of foster care in their community. 120 people from the church showed up. Oh my gosh. And now there's like this thing where her pastor was like, oh, you know, like that was really helpful. And like, let's say, like, so there are ways, again, out of kindness to your to your leaders, you know, like um, but don't, don't, yeah, it doesn't mean that you stop. It just means that you especially pray and consider um what is best for the edification of your of your local church body. Um, and God will do the work, He will. Um, trust me. Yeah, it may not be in your timing or or control, uh, anyways, but um, but again, that's that advocacy versus discipleship kind of mentality, you know, like how are you strengthening your faith family? It's just as much about how you are pouring in and strengthening and discipling those in your church as it is as how they are responding to something, a foster care ministry that that we need to have.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and I think when you show up, when your family shows up and people see you and people see your kids and people get to know your kids, right? I think it's very easy for for me to say, hey, my my kids can sometimes be hard. We're in a different stage now, but when they were little, you know, like my kids can be a challenge. And so I'm just gonna hold back and protect them and protect everybody else from having to navigate through that. But when we do that, we do a disservice to everybody. So really engaging. Letting people get to know our kids, letting people get to know us really well and see the dynamics of our family. Because when people see it firsthand, I think it becomes not so scary. I think people, you know, it becomes a reality where people see what's going on and they're like, oh, I can, I can help, I can do something here to be of assistance.

SPEAKER_02:

Or I know the name of your child. It's not just kids that are in the foster care system in our community that feels this like, like, I know your child. I know they're it's not a number. Yeah. Right. I know what grade they got. You know what I mean? Like it's it's it's um it's not a number. Yeah, it's an image bearer that I have a personal knowledge of um that changes and transforms even the way that I interact and want to engage, or how God may call me into it uh based on just knowing your child's name.

SPEAKER_01:

Um yeah, and listen, I can't tell you how many kids, I mean how many families my kids have roped into foster care because my kids are cute. And so my kids go into a situation and people are like, oh, I could do that. Of course they don't see everything at home, but uh but but when people do get to know your kids and they see, hey, these are these are real kids, um, I think it changes it. Yeah. Um I have a question for you.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm gonna I'm gonna remember what's the one thing that you wish you had known before you stepped into this.

SPEAKER_01:

And maybe there's not anything. Nothing like that. Nothing. Yeah, I so so here's the thing. It's funny, I've gone through different seasons of my life, um, or on this, you know, foster care journey. I've gone through different seasons where seasons where my perspective has been different. Right now I would say nothing because I think God has taught me everything as I went along that I needed to know as I needed to know it. Um, I think if I had known stuff up front, I would not have stepped into it.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And there have even been seasons where, I mean, there was a season where I stepped away from training foster parents because I said, I can't advocate for parents to do this. It's too hard. Um, but I think on this side of things, where we are now, I've seen how God has transformed me in that process. I've seen how he's grown my relationship with him and the intimacy and the faith and the trust that I have in him now, only because of these hard things that I've experienced. I've seen my kids grow. I've seen them, I, you know, it's funny. I had a kid meltdown, which is very funny today. I had a kid that meltdown this morning, but we just went through a whole holiday season, our first holiday season ever, where we had not one meltdown. And so I'm like, Lord, I see progress. I see you moving, right? And these little things. I see these kids transforming into these amazing people. Um, one of my kids over Christmas break, like they went downtown and did some stuff, and she gave her pizza away to a homeless man and just said, Hey, I just want you to know that Jesus loves you. I mean, just to see that in her, the way that he's growing her. I have another kid that's about to go overseas on missions for a couple of months. And just to see the passion in her that he's grown in her, I would have missed all of that for being scared. And um, and so I think my naivety, my naivety, like in the beginning, where I didn't know what I was getting into was actually good. It was a blessing because it allowed me to step into a space and just trust that God was going to help me navigate as I went. And I think that he did. And and, you know, as we're talking in this conversation, I think the same is true in the church. And and the Lord's kind of walking that path in the church that I'm in right now is is really growing a foster care ministry. Our foster care ministry is growing really, really fast. But having that same trust in that this is a process and the Lord is gonna take us through this as we need to, yeah, as we need to go through it.

SPEAKER_02:

So that's what I was about to just say there. Uh, I'm I'm I love hearing that you would not have wanted to know any different because it it was a step of faith, right? In some ways. I would say the same for a church. Like, yeah, you're not gonna know everything, you're not gonna know how to do it well. Quite frankly, it's going to take a while. Um, but taking a step towards faithfulness is all that he is asking us to do. And so be courageous in that. Um, he has called us to it. We don't question it, we don't have to question it. Be courageous. As my friend Jason Johnson will say, we we oftentimes don't need God to tell us, are we called to this? We just need him to give us the courage to take a step towards it. So that would be my encouragement as well. Uh, just as you know, you just articulated as a foster parent not knowing, but taking that step as a pastor, as a church, you're not gonna know, just take the step. Um, and ask for those around you to help you that know how to do it, to walk alongside of you, to help you develop what you need. Uh, and God wants you to succeed. Like there is success here because um it is his purpose, his will, it is part of his kingdom advance among his people here. And so um it is it is a worthy sacrifice, one that is that is joyful, um, and through the suffering of it all, uh a refining transformational reality um that is is is unique and and beautiful. Um ultimately though, because it leads to healing and restoration of the souls of those that that need our our care in the most important ways. So thankful for that's amazing. All you guys do. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, well, thank you, Kelly. Tell us where people can find you in WindShape Homes. Like, if they're looking for resources, if they want to consult with you guys on how to move forward, like where can we find you?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, uh simple enough, just go to winshapehomes.org. Uh, that's our website. Um, if you're interested in fostering, like we have everything that you need to start the process there. If you're a church interested in starting a foster care ministry, maybe partnering with a local agency or really just need help even starting a conversation, uh, there's a button there on our website that says, hey, contact us. We'd love to connect with you. Um, we actually just launched our own podcast as well. And so there's a few things there if you wanted to jump on. It's anywhere you find um podcast, uh, but it's the WinShape Homes podcast. And then any of our social media, you know, I think we have a pretty good little Instagram account. Uh, it's at WinShape Homes if anybody needs to connect with us.

SPEAKER_01:

Awesome. I will link to all of those in the show notes for people that need those resources. Um, Kelly, I have really appreciated this conversation with you. I think it was so, so rich. Um, and I think people will glean a lot from it.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you for having me. I am also mutually encouraged and appreciate all that you were doing to uh infuse this community uh with good gospel conversations. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Before we wrap up today, I just want to encourage you to share this episode. If you have a pastor, church leader, ministry director, or someone in leadership at your church, please send this to them. These conversations really matter. The way the church shows up for foster and adoptive families truly changes lives. And sometimes all it takes is hearing a conversation like this to spark awareness, compassion, and action. I really appreciated Callie's perspective. And I think leaders will benefit from this too. Um, also, if this podcast has encouraged you or served you in any way, I would be so grateful if you would take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you listen. It helps the podcast reach more families, more leaders, and more people who want to step into this work but aren't sure where to start. I would love to pray for us as we wrap up. Father God, we thank you for your heart for the fatherless and the vulnerable. We thank you that you see every child, every family, every ministry quietly saying yes in the hard places. Lord, I pray for your church. Wake us up to what matters to you. Give pastors and leaders courage and clarity and compassion to lead their people into this work with wisdom and humility. I pray for the uh churches and ministries already serving foster and adoptive families, Lord, protect them, strengthen them, um, build them up, keep them from burnout and discouragement, multiply their resources, Lord, um, multiply their volunteers and their impact. Let them be places of refuge, let them be places of safety and belonging for kids and families. God, remind us that this is your work. We are not the saviors you are, but you invite us to be a part of what you're doing. Thank you for that blessing. Lord, fill your church with your spirit, with endurance, and with a deep love that looks like yours. May we reflect you well to the children and families who need it most. Lord, we love you. We trust you. In Jesus' name. Amen.